Things I shouldn't have to say

-Glue is not a cracker dip. 

-Do you seriously expect me to believe that you just fell asleep on the floor right now before I could discipline you? I'm not as dumb as I look, kid. 

-Can you get me a popcorn-free glass of water? 

-When I said you could collect money from around the house, I meant change from the laundry. Not my purse. 

-That sounds like a great dinner suggestion, honey, but just an FYI, it's "chicken pot pie," not "chicken butt pie."

-And that is why we don't use dinosaurs as spoons. 

Things I Shouldn't Have to Say

I've been writing these on Facebook for years, but I think it's time to add to the blog as a Friday theme. Daily, as a mom, I find myself saying things that I could never in a million years anticipated having to say. These people are cute, but they're also crazy. 

 This week's edition. 

-Cheese is not a writing utensil. That's why your pen is not working.

-When I said to put the baby down, I didn't mean on your sister's head. 

-You can come out of your room when you are ready to stop mooning people. 

-What do you mean, you "lost Wisconsin?"

-Why was there a car in your pants? 

-Snowpants are meant to be outerwear. They are not a replacement for actual pants.