I love peonies. They are one of my very favourite flowers. Every year when they are in season I buy at least one bouquet of them at the farmer's market. They are expensive, but worth it. Not this year. This year there are other expenses that need to be met and there just isn't room in the budget for extras like peonies.
I've decided that instead of being disappointed I am going to make a spiritual (and fiscal) exercise of enjoying beauty without having to possess it. That's always been something of a problem for me. When I see something beautiful, I want to own it. Maybe it's just part of the human condition, longing for permanence and perfection in an impermanent and imperfect world. There's something about the transient nature of beauty that makes it all the more irresistible, and even when I can possess a thing I find beautiful I often find that the act of capturing it dulls my appreciation rather than increasing it.
Instead, I am letting myself be awed by it's grandeur
and it's splendor, and leaving it just as I found it.