Something has come over me the last few days. After over a week of running back and forth to the hospital I'm thoroughly enjoying being home. My domestic side has kicked into full gear. While the baby sleeps and the children play I've been baking, making tea, tidying up the house, fluffing pillows and making beds. While he eats I've been reading stories to the kids, catching up on my reading and writing and just watching him, completely in love. I'm loving all the simple little moments; the smell of a freshly bathed baby, the sound of the girls playing happily in their room together, the site of James and his Daddy napping together on the couch. I'm even considering having company this week.
I don't remember being this pulled together so soon after having the girls. It's kind of surreal. I gave birth 11 days ago. It seems impossible that we are already finding our rhythm as a family, but we are. This baby seems to have folded himself nicely into our lives. I feel so much more confident this time than I did the last two times. It's a big deal, yes, but I know how to care for a baby. I don't sit around all day worrying that I'm going to mess him up for life with every move I make. I don't feel guilty for taking time for myself. I don't have the time or energy to waste on useless guilt and worry. It's very freeing.
This kid, being my third in five years, gets less attention than the other two ever did as babies, but paradoxically, he is happier, easier and we are all enjoying these baby days much, much more. There's probably a lesson of some kind in that. I'm a little to tired to figure out what it is right now, but no doubt it will come to me with time and better rest. :)